Do you also have that one thing you’ve wanted for years, but have never achieved? Maybe it’s losing weight, having a relationship or earning more money. Every year you say “this year it’s going to happen”, but it never does.
If you really want to achieve that goal this year, ask yourself the following questions*:
1) Do you really think it’s a good idea to reach that goal?
People are not going to go for something full-out unless they actually think it’s a good idea. If you’re not 100% convinced that it would be a good thing to achieve that goal, if you’re scared of the consequences of reaching that goal, you’re going to have one foot on the gas pedal and one foot on the brake (and that doesn’t get you very far).
For example: Michael Neill shared that he used to be really scared that if he ever got really famous he’d start using drugs and cheat on his wife. (He was not convinced that “being famous” would be a good thing.) Then one day he had a new thought and realized that he just didn’t want to use drugs or cheat on his wife and that it was safe to be famous, and his career took off.
Another example: In “If I’m happy with my life such as it is, it will never change!” I shared that many people are afraid of being really happy because they fear that being happy would make them passive. (So they’re not convinced that “being happy” would be a good thing.)
2) Do you think it’s possible to reach that goal?
Henry Ford famously said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” In other words: if you don’t think it’s possible, then it’s not going to be possible for you. There are many opportunities out there for you, but very often you can’t see them because your thinking limits what you see.
For example: I client of mine shared that for a long time she thought she would never have the relationship she dreamed of, because there weren’t any good single men out there. Meanwhile, a great guy, who was madly in love with her, was literally living in her house (he was her housemate!), but as long as she was convinced it wasn’t possible for her to have a good relationship, she literally didn’t see him. This lasted for over a year, until she had a new thought! (They have a great relationship now!)
3) Are you willing to make it a priority?
Sometimes people say they want something, but they don’t want it enough to make it a priority. I think if you really want to achieve a particular goal, you need to make it a priority.
For example: Lina came to see me because she was very close to a burnout. She said she wanted to find her mental health again. But in our discussion, I found out that having a tidy house was so important to her, she was willing to sacrifice her wellbeing for it. In other words, she wanted peace of mind, but not if her house was messy. At some point I had to ask her if she was willing to make her mental health a priority.
Now, let’s look at YOUR goal. (You know, that “thing” you say you want?) Do you really think it’s a good idea to reach that goal? Do you think it’s possible to reach that goal? Are you willing to make it a priority?
Did you say “yes!” three times? Great! I have found that being able to answer “Yes!” to these questions will significantly increase your chances of reaching your goals and getting what you want in life.
But what if you didn’t say “yes!”? Don’t worry, we’ll cover that in my next article, which will be published on January 20th!
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It’s much easier to navigate life when we understand how stuff works. My work as a Three Principles coach consists of exploring with my clients “how life really works”. Does this resonate with you? Do you want to know more? Contact me and we’ll have a chat.
* This article was inspired by something George Pransky shared in his amazing and life-changing “Commonsense Parenting” audio program. In this program, he talks about Possibility, Advisability and Resolve. The 3 questions in this article are my take on those concepts.